The most significant problem in the modern-day wedding planning is deciding who to invite. Remember, this is a special day that you have been dreaming about since you were a child. You want all your family members and friends to celebrate with you on this special occasion. Understandably, you want to maintain your dream venue and stick to your budget, but you don’t want to create issues with your parents and in-laws because you cut off their friends or colleagues from the guest list.

So, how do you decide who can and cannot attend your wedding? Don’t feel obliged to invite people you have never met before or friends and family you haven’t seen or talked to for years. The following tips will help you decide who to invite to your wedding:

  1. Decide How You Will Divide The List Before Getting Financial Help

If your parents and future in-laws are involved in planning for the big day or contributing money to the wedding, you will have to decide how you will share the guest list. Get all the parties involved together and clarify your expectations about the guest list before getting any form of help. Even in cases where you cover all the costs, both families should be engaged to avoid surprises. That way, even if a person has contributed money, you can negotiate or decline their help before beginning to spend their money.

Typically, you and your spouse should get half of the guest list, while parents from both sides should share the remaining half of the list equally. You could also divide the list into thirds where one-third of the list is composed of your guests, a third for your spouse’s guests, and the other a third for mutual friends. There are different ways of sharing the guest list, but the best way is to ensure all the families involved get to invite the same number of guests but based on circumstances.

  1. Decide on the Number of Guests

You should come up with a headcount of the guest you would like to attend your wedding. Even if you are not sure about the exact number, come up with a rough estimate. The number of guests should depend on your venue and budget. If you prefer a small wedding, you can only invite between fifty to seventy-five guests. You will need 150 guests for a medium wedding while a large wedding should have 200 guests.

Some people have an exact number of people they want to invite, especially if they’re going to ask close family and friends only. Others fall in love with small venues and are forced to send an invitation to the least number of people because of their limited capacity. For other clients, the budget is what determines the number of people to attend the wedding.

If your budget is the primary determinant of the number of guests you want to celebrate your special day with, then you must ensure you invite people you can afford. This is because the more people you ask, the more the expenses.

The venue is equally an essential factor to consider when deciding on the number of guests. Make sure while shopping around for sites, you inquire about their capacity. Doing so will keep you from inviting more people than the venue can hold.

  1. Design Your Dream List

Picking the people you want to attend the wedding isn’t a walk in the park. Before writing down the names of everyone you want at the wedding, you need to divide the guest list into groups. Your guests should be immediate family members, extended family, co-workers, and close friends. Don’t consider the number of guests you are inviting to the wedding. Just write down the names of people you would love to share memories with on this special occasion.

Similarly, you have to decide whether you want children at the wedding or not. Some people prefer adults’ only celebrations because they worry kids will disrupt the ceremony. Others view weddings as the beginning of a family, thus deeming it vital for children to attend. You should also let guests inquire whether they can come with their kids to know what you have decided. Alternatively, you can adopt a kid policy where you allow only kids within a specific age bracket. Typically, people prefer having kids 12 years or younger in a wedding.

Your guests are in various stages of their lives. Some are married or in long-term relationships and would like their partners or friends to tag along to the wedding. In such situations, you have to come up with a rule. You should consider such things to decide who among your guests can bring their partners.

  1. Make Your Cutting Rules

When picking or designing your dream guest list, you need to develop rules as a family. Your parents and those of your partner have their ideas of a dream guest list too. However, because you cannot accommodate everyone’s thoughts of a dream list, you need to set rules. One of these rules is only to invite people you have met or talked to in the last twelve months. If a friend spoke to you ten years ago, don’t include them on the list even if they invited you to their wedding.

Another rule is that your mutual friends should come first before the friends of your parents. This is your day to celebrate, which means you and your partner’s friends should always come first. Again, if anybody appears on the list because you feel guilty, they should not be on the list.

  1. Draft an A and B-List

From your dream list, come up with two categories of people to invite. The A-list should comprise the people you want to ask or those you can’t imagine your wedding without them around. The B-list is usually a backup. The list should consist of people you want to invite to the wedding, but your budget or venue doesn’t allow.

When making these two lists, ensure you have contact numbers and names of these guests. If someone on your first list isn’t available or declines to attend, you can pick someone from the second list. Not having a back-up plan is a massive risk because around 20 percent of your priority list might fail to attend. This means you will have empty seats, and food might go to waste. However, with the second list, you can be guaranteed you will maximize the people attending the wedding.

It’s worth noting that if you send an invitation to the second list one week to the wedding, you will make them feel they are your second option, which might trigger them to turn down the invitation. Send the first list of invitation cards ten weeks before the date of the wedding. In case a few turn down the invitation, you can send the second list invitations at least six weeks before the wedding.

If the wedding is taking place in a small venue, you might consider having guests at the reception only. This should be the case, especially if the location cannot accommodate all the guests in your first list. However, when doing this, you should explain to them that you would have loved them to attend the ceremony, but you could only have them at the reception because of limited space.

  1. Print Names on the Response Card

Perhaps you have seen or heard people cram two or more names in one line on the response card. When this happens, you are forced to invite people you didn’t want to attend the wedding, and this could result in many problems because you will have more guests than you invited. To avoid these problems, print out your guests’ names on the response cards so that nobody can force your hand to ask someone you didn’t intend to.

If someone manages to write-in another name on the card, don’t take it personally because perhaps they don’t understand the protocol. However, you should call the person and inform them that although you would love everyone to attend the wedding, the cost of catering and venue capacity limits you hence the reason they cannot participate.

  1. Steer Clear of Last Minutes Add-Ons

The moment you announce that you are having a wedding, word will spread like wildfire. You will find someone contacting you saying he or she can’t wait to attend your wedding, whereas the person is nowhere on the list. The last thing you want to do in these situations is the lack of a firm response. If you give an unstable answer indicating they can attend, you will end up with more guests on the list or in weird conversations.

Instead of putting yourself in these situations, come up with a polite but well-founded response. You can tell the person you would love so much for them to attend, but you are restricted by your budget and venue capacity.

Find a Los Angeles Bridal Salon

If you are planning a wedding in Los Angeles and have already finished the most challenging part, preparing a guest list, the next thing should be picking attires and accessories for you and your guests. Thankfully, at the Beautiful Day Wedding, we specialize in wedding attire. Please visit our boutique if you are looking for wedding attire or contact us at 213-386-1900 to discuss your wedding attire options.